When The Clouds Are Grey

Rain has always been a big deal for me. I think it's because I love to listen to it. I find the rain peaceful and at times, comforting. I can be in the worst mood, but as soon as I hear the rain, I will cheer up. It's as if God is crying for me. I can't explain exactly how I feel, but what I can do is tell you the rain is like a big relief. Like all the raindrops falling down from the sky our little stress relievers, sort of like The Lords Medicine.
I can honestly say, the rain not only cheers me up, but it gives me a reason to stay quiet. On those rainy afternoons, I can sit by my window, feeling the raindrops blow past me, and clear my mind. Think of nothing else but the beautiful rain that is falling on the soft water soaked grass.
I can sit in my room and read, listen to music, watch my favorite movie. I can spend a long afternoon Spring cleaning. Place things in order, sort out my life as if I'm putting the pieces of a puzzle together. I can use rainy days to gather my thoughts, rearrange my schedule, or just do nothing.

Sometimes that's what I need. Time to just sit and do nothing.

On rainy nights I can sit on my porch, maybe a light sprinkle will gently touch my face. On those hot summer nights it's a relief to have a little summer rain hit you. Then I will wait for the crickets. I love to listen to the crickets. It wouldn't be summer without them. The crickets remind me of who I was as a little girl. I would often stay up late listening to them from my bedroom window. All the while gazing at the night sky. Sometimes the clouds would be grey, but I wouldn't mind. It only meant the rain was coming. Even as a child, the rain gave me a reason to just sit in my room and do nothing but listen.

A Quiet Afternoon

I remember how different things were back in 1992. Life was difficult for me, but somehow, within all the difficulty it was peaceful. Looking back, I can only assume that no matter what I was going through, it didn't matter. I had my girls and I was a Mom. That was all that ever mattered to me.
I can tell you that I will never forget those afternoons I sat on my front porch waiting for my daughter to get off the school bus. She was this tiny little thing, not able to step off the bus on her own. The big steps were to hard for her to climb. Her bus driver, a friendly lady would always say how cute she was, but "ever so quiet" she would say.
At home, that wasn't the case. My daughter would come out of her shell as soon as she walked into the house. Turning on her favorite cartoon, filling the house with her singing, or helping me in the kitchen. Often, on those rainy days we would open the kitchen window and listen to all the rain. We would sit and read her favorite stories over and over, all the while the raindrops hitting the sidewalk.
When the phone would ring, she would jump to answer it. Often times, it would be her Dad, on his way over to take her for icecream. She would put on her Spring jacket, call out to her sister and off they would go. I would watch them pull around the corner, then I would go back inside to clean up there room, all the while enjoying the fact my girls had everything they needed.
We weren't rich, that's for sure, but what we had was more then money could buy. My girls were happy with the small things in life. The trips to the ball park with Dad, the long rides in the Van with Mom, listening to all the top 40 music. We had the special things money could never buy. We had time, that can never be erased. Moments that will stay with us forever, and memories that I can write about now. I had my girls, and no matter what else was going on, my love for them sustained me through it all.

You don't have to tell me the sky is blue.

Growing up, my youngest daughter loved the color pink. Pink wasn't just her favorite color, she wanted to live in a world of pink. Her bedroom consisted of pink walls, pink curtains, pink blankets, pink pillows. She had pink toys, pink sweaters, pink pants, pink shirts, pink socks, pink pajama's. My daughter loved pink so much that I had to use food coloring to get her to eat her birthday cake. Even the icecream had to be pink.
I remember one summer afternoon, she asked me why the sky had to be blue. She wanted a pink sky, pink clouds and an all pink rainbow. I couldn't answer all the endless questions she asked about pink, so I would just smile and tell myself, one day she will grow out of this "pink phase." However, she never seemed to. For her sixth birthday she got a pink Barbie and decided to play dress up. She stood in front of the mirror wearing my high heel shoes, a pink purse over her right shoulder and a pair of old pink sunglasses. She was pretending to be an all pink Barbie. Naturally, she was a dark-haired pink Barbie, who was obviously in love with the color pink. She had her pink tea set and of course she was having a pink tea party, which was actually pink lemonade.
Her father found it amusing that whenever he took her for the weekend, she had to have her pink Barbie suitcase, her pink nightgown and her all pink glowworm. I tried to explain to him that girls will be girls, but he never understood why pink was so important to her. I just shrugged the whole thing off, thinking it was no big deal. Someday, I thought she will look back on this and laugh.
But, that never happened. While I watched my daughter grow from wanting pink Barbies to pink purses to pink cell phone cases, I was amazed she never seemed to grow out of liking the color pink. So for my daughters 18th birthday, I made her a pink cake, with pink frosting and I gave her a pink birthday card with an all pink rainbow. Inside I wrote, You don't have to tell me the sky is Blue, but today God has made an exception. The sun was just about to set, and a soft pink glow was covering the sky. I realized right then, God must have been listening. All this time, she had loved the color pink and for her birthday, God gave her a pink sky. Amazing.